It's Good To Have You Back
by anniie23
Summary: AU; What if Tony and Ziva got married a few years before she had to stay in Israel? How did Tony feel while she was away? Now she came back and wants to get her old life back.


_Another one-shot, quite long this time. I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you like it as well :)_  
 _I'm sorry for all the mistakes but English isn't my native language. I bet you can find some of them below even though I tried my best._  
 _I own nothing._

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He hasn't seen her since that night in Tel Aviv. The night she asked him to give her some space after eight years of partnership and six years of marriage at the same time. Truth be told, they had been having a lot of fights and arguments but sooner or later one of them couldn't stand it anymore and apologized. They were like fire and rain. She often hoped for some time alone, he preferred to stay by her side and watch her in case something went wrong. He loved every movie that existed, she liked plenty of them but would never exchange them for her books, especially the ones in Hebrew. He drank coffee, she opted for tea.

Not wanting their secret to become official news, she always wore her engagement ring and wedding band on a long necklace around her neck. He placed his own in a wallet right next to her photo. He couldn't help it, the day he showed her the photo of her that he took in Paris, he never removed it from there. These two things was still there and that was not going to change soon. There were days they actually wore their wedding bands but it was only outside the work at weekends or during meetings with friends they trusted who were aware of what was going on in their life and promised to never spill out. She really wanted to tell her father about them but she couldn't. She knew he didn't like Tony even before he actually saw him in person a few months before that summer in Somalia. She suspected that it started the moment he saw photos of her and Tony outside her apartment after one of their movie nights about a month before they started dating for real. He considered him as a threat, as someone who can take his only daughter away from him and convince her to stay in DC forever. With him. American, with Italian roots, not Jewish, federal agent. She couldn't risk his safety. Not the person she cared the most.

She met Anthony DiNozzo Senior in the end of first year of their marriage. She liked the man despite his attitude towards her. The moment she saw him, Ziva knew that Tony inherited his charm from his father. She was really flattered that her father-in-law considered her as a beautiful woman but she disapproved the way he tried to flirt with her which was not only inappropriate but also awkward when Tony was a witness of these situations. All she could do was smile and thank him for compliments he was giving her.

During their next meeting about a year after that, she wasn't so pleased with the idea of going through the same thing again. She told her husband that they needed to tell his dad the truth because compared with her own father there was no danger. Besides, he deserved to know. And that's what they did, except not really the way they planned to. After a case they used Senior's help, the old man insisted to drive Ziva home heading her towards a limo NCIS rented for the mission. Feeling his left hand on her back a bit too low she stopped and looked him in the eyes. That was the moment she couldn't stand his behaviour anymore. At the same time Tony felt that something was wrong. Not only her face showed that she was mad but also her body. He didn't remember the last time she glared at somebody the way she did at his father that night.

"I am sorry Mr. DiNozzo but I am married." she said without hesitation showing the older man the engagement ring and wedding band on her necklace.

Senior looked at her for a long moment and she didn't know if he regretted all the things he did and said or just couldn't believe what was going on. Seeing that this was really happening, Tony stepped forward and took her left hand in his right.

"To me, dad." he added exhaling.

And his own son' words changed everything. The smile on Senior's face fell even more.

"Why didn't you two tell me? Didn't I deserve to know earlier? My only son has a wife who I know but still have no idea that she's the one?"

"No one knows." Ziva whispered squeezing Tony's hand harder than before. "And we want it to remain a secret. It is better this way. Our work is dangerous and that would only complicate things even more."

After that night they haven't spoken to Senior for a few months. Ziva couldn't deal with her emotions and Tony seemed to suffer from no contact with his dad more than ever. They were never close but he felt like he betrayed him by not telling him the truth from the moment he said ' _I do'_ to his wife. All he needed during that time was simple ' _I'm proud of you son_ ' or ' _You chose wisely. She's good for you_ '. But nothing like that was spoken by his father even though he thought he liked Ziva since the moment they met.

It took them over a year to meet again but not willingly. After proving that Anthony DiNozzo Senior didn't kill the Lieutenant, Junior took his father for a lunch. They had talked for almost two hours only about 3 years of Tony's marriage, Ziva and how they felt about the last year that they didn't hear from each other. Senior stayed for a couple more days at their home accepting their invitation, seeing that despite the fact almost no one knew about these two, it worked perfectly fine.

The hardest time was after the death of Eli David. Ziva didn't feel like having anyone around her at that time. She didn't like to show every person she knew how weak she became in United States, especially after she came back from that camp in Somalia. She had never been so vulnerable and fragile since she was a teenager and started her training in Mossad. She also didn't need any compassion and kind words from anyone. Not even Abby' hugs. Giving her a lift to the airport Tony was ready for anything. He managed to pack his own suitcase when she wasn't paying attention the night before and wanted to fly with her for the funeral. When he laced his fingers with hers she took her hand away from him. She knew he wanted to make her feel better but she didn't want him to. It was her own pain, her own grief.

Before he could react she got out of the car and opened the trunk. Seeing not only her luggage but his as well, she blinked back tears and told him that she didn't want him to go anywhere and that he was staying in DC. He rejected saying that he was her husband and promised her to be there for better or worse. Unfortunately, no one knew about them. Not even her own father. She couldn't risk taking him to Israel and making others suspect them being something more than co-workers or partners. She would never forgive herself if anything happened to him. What would it look like if they both appeared at the funeral? What if Tony would want to hold her hand just to make her feel better or kiss her temple which was his habit? These acts could not be seen. Not in Israel. Not around Mossad officers.

And after all, she won. She has always won not even telling him her biggest fears. Before leaving him next to their car and grabbing her suitcase, she managed to hug him but she didn't dare to kiss him. Not with Israeli people around them even when she knew he didn't care at that moment.

For the next few days when she had been gone he wasn't himself. He didn't say any movie references, didn't make pranks to McGee, didn't even do anything that deserved Gibbs' head slaps. Nothing. One day when she finally stepped out of the elevator he felt relieved but only for a few seconds. Until he recognized the look on her face which was similar to the one from the summer of 2009. The horrific one. It wasn't simple ' _I'm sad and about to cry_ ' face but more like ' _I don't know what to do anymore. Please, help me_ '. And when their eyes locked he had no doubt that he read that right.

During nights not only did she cry herself to sleep but also when she managed to actually fall asleep, she was waking up shaking, sometimes screaming, from a nightmare even a few times. Tony didn't know what to do anymore. Holding her close, her listening to his steady heartbeat, whispering words of comfort into her ear, kissing her temple and rubbing her back with his free hand during that, all of it wasn't helping. He fought hard the urge to cry with her seeing her in this state but he was afraid that it's going to make everything worse. When she was hurt, he was hurt as well.

It had been happening every night for four months and then suddenly stopped. Yes, she still had nightmares from time to time but only one per night and the moment she woke up she was aware where she was and if someone was holding her close to his chest she knew that the person was her husband who had been doing that every single time. What's more important, his touch was always gentle.

Even though they were married for six years, they never really talked about starting a family. Ziva loved children and tried to take care of every one of them that had been involved in their cases but she didn't say a word about liking it even though she saw all the glances form her husband across the bullpen. She heard him once telling Gibbs he was no expert at babysitting and that children scared the hell out of him but she really doubted that. She couldn't count the times she saw him with a kid in his arms or laps. And truth be told, she enjoyed the view wishing that maybe one day she would see him with their child. Yes, she wanted one or maybe two but she was also scared that bringing a kid into this dangerous world isn't the right thing to do. She was Mossad officer and federal agent for God's sake, she knew how unsafe it all was.

And now here he was at the NCIS sitting behind his own desk staring at the empty one in front of him. There were a lot of people who tried to replace Ziva but they were never good enough. If Tony had to be honest, he was pretty sure that he was not the only one who thought that she was indeed irreplaceable. No one managed to stay longer than a few days. After the first case they got, Gibbs always became furious about how slow the probationary agent was and couldn't stand it anymore telling him or her that he/she was done and could take his/her things and not to come back the next day. But that didn't dispirited Vance who was still giving Gibbs new files but the only one who was looking through them was McGee. Not because he didn't like Ziva and didn't believe that she would actually come back one day but because he was overwhelmed by the work he had to do alone when his boss and senior field agent were outside the office.

But what was driving Tony crazy the most was the fact that no one knew that he wasn't single. By not wearing his wedding band he showed all the probationary agents – women ones - that he was not taken and because they never saw him with any girl around they tried their own chances. He didn't even pretend to date anyone since Ziva had been gone. There was no fun in making up stories about a hot chick when she was not around making up her own ones. They often said only true things about what they had done last night together but made sure to never say the same ones. Anyway, he always refused going out with them and threw away every note they left at his desk.

There was one time he was afraid that the fact that he was married wasn't a secret anymore. He wasn't expecting this and it happened so fast. Abby called him and asked to come to her lab. She closed the door behind him and tried to convince him to confess his feelings. She sensed that he was off for most of the time and couldn't stand the Tony he had become when Ziva wasn't around. Recently they hardly ever heard him laugh, telling jokes not to mention see him smile.

"What was between you and her?" she asked looking him in the eyes in case he tried to avoid the answer.

He sighed heavily knowing who was she talking about even when she didn't say her name aloud. He just knew. He would always know. Confessing Abby the years they were together was not an option even though he would feel relieved to finally admit how much he was in love with his wife. But he was also aware that when Ziva would come back she would kill, or at least try to kill, him with a paperclip not even wanting to hear him explain and apologize.

"We were partners for eight years, Abbs. That's quite a lot of time and as you know I'm not a big fan of changes. That's all."

"No, it's not." she crossed her arms on her chest and glanced at him showing him that she was not satisfied with his response.

"Okay, you know what? We are not going to talk about it now and ever again. I have work to do so do you." he stood up from a chair he was sitting on and headed to the door trying not to think how rude he just acted and that Abby didn't deserve to witness this. He promised himself to tell her later that he was sorry but he couldn't stay at the office anymore today. This time it was him who needed some space.

He often ended his nights at the bars getting drunk which was not his thing. Even when the cases were difficult he always came home with his wife. Yes, sometimes they needed a drink together but they never drank too much. They also used making love as well as a way not only to show their feelings towards each other but also to reduce stress. Besides, where would you rather be if not in the arms that belonged to your other half?

Every night he spent alone he wished that she was laying right beside him her head on his chest and their legs wrapped around each other. But she wasn't. There was nothing. No warm body, no familiar smell, just nothing. When that was too much for him, he headed to the living room and slept on the couch trying not to complain about his aching back the next day. At least his head was in a better state. Sometimes he didn't know what was going on with him because he had never missed anyone that much in his entire life since the day he was told that his mother died. Even though he knew that Ziva being a ninja was probably in no real danger he couldn't help himself but worry about her all the time. It was his job to have her back. Unfortunately, it wasn't possible when she was in another continent even though he really wished that he could do something. Anything.

She sometimes texted him only to let him know that she was okay and that he had nothing to worry about but they never really talked. She didn't call him, not ever once. She was afraid that if she heard his voice she would fall apart and come back to DC the next available flight but that was not an option. She had work to do here in her homeland and there was no one who could do it except her. She received a text saying ' _Come home, please. I miss you, honey_ ' from him once and cried for a long time hiding from others. She couldn't show anyone how weak she became and she knew if they found out they would no longer help her.

It'd been two years, five months, three weeks, one day and he had no idea if he could stand that situation any longer. It was not normal. Leaving him here in DC alone while she was in Israel was not fair. Yes, they both had been occupied with work almost all the time but it didn't make him stop thinking of her. Everything reminded him of his wife. The empty desk across the office, when one of the probationary agents drank her favourite flavour of tea, her necklace – the gold Star of David – in his top drawer, when the phone on her desk rang and he expected her to answer it but it had to be done by him or someone else, hearing Gibbs say ' _grab your gear_ ' and thinking about times when he used to spar with her who would reach the elevator first, when Abby brought flowers to work which happened to be Ziva' favourite ones, and of course these two things which were in his pocket. The wedding band and the photo in his wallet.

When she wasn't around, he sometimes wished that he could actually wear his wedding band without raising any suspicions. He thought it would help him feel like she was right next to him not only in his mind and heart. If he had to be honest, he wished she wore hers every day now when she was away showing every man around that she was his and he really hoped she did because as attractive as she was she would have admirers in no time. Yes, he was jealous because for the four years he had had her for himself and what he was the most proud of – she always came home with him and they spent the night in their bed together.

It was the eight day without a probationary agent and he hoped that Vance had already given up and would wait for Ziva to come back but when he saw McGee with new files which he put on their boss's desk he sighed trying to avoid thinking about it again. He should had known that the person as stubborn as their director would not change his mind just because he preferred to work with his wife not some weird guy or next chick who was into him.

Hearing the elevator stopping at their floor Tony looked in that direction and seeing that it was only Gibbs he started to work on his paperwork again. But when the boss didn't even go to his desk he sensed that something was wrong but refused to check again. He didn't have time for games Gibbs was playing in if he wanted to leave the office at eight because they didn't have any current case.

Next thing he saw was a female's left hand on the paper he was filling in. But when he saw what he was indeed meant to see he dropped the pen and traced her finger with his hand looking at how bright it shined. Her ring finger. His wife's ring finger. The one she was wearing her engagement ring and wedding band on. Right now. In the office. With everyone around. When he had his own still hidden in the wallet in his pocket.

Lacing their fingers together he looked up seeing her standing in front of him. Her eyes were full of tears but she was smiling at him. She didn't care about anyone around anymore. She was tired of pretending. So was he. Four years together plus two apart, it was enough. She didn't want to hide her feelings every time she was afraid if he was okay after being shot, when their brand new car exploded a few years ago, when they were in the crash together after coming back from Berlin, when she couldn't reach him calling every five minutes, when she tried not to stare at him all the time across the bullpen and finding how hot he looked in his suit that day. No, it couldn't be done again. Not when she was officially back. For good. And he was more than okay with that. He finally wanted everyone to know her as Ziva David-DiNozzo, his beautiful wife.

Not wanting to waste any more time he stood up from his chair and hugged her close to his chest. He missed doing that. He missed the way she smelled, the way she fitted in his arms, the fact that she was always breathing on his neck doing that. He was so not going to let her go for a long time. Truth be told, he wasn't sure if it was inappropriate behavior in work but he couldn't care less. She came back home. Ziva came back home. His wife came back home. At that moment Tony wished that no one would want to say hello to her now because he or she would have to do that talking to her back or wait a long time when he would finally decide to let her go.

He kissed her temple feeling her hugging him even tighter than a moment ago. Next thing he noticed was her hand wiping away the tear from her eye and that was when he couldn't resist any longer. He slanted and took a strand of her hair placing it behind her ear.

"I love you so much." he whispered and a second later he swore he heard a single sob coming from her mouth but it was so quiet that he could have missed it if he was standing a few more inches away. "I'm so glad you're home." he continued and when she wanted to wipe away the next tear, he stopped her and did it instead of her.

"I am sorry for leaving you for so long, Tony." she said that more to his chest than actually to him but he didn't mind at all. "I should not have done that but I had no choice."

"I know, Sweet Cheeks, I know."

The next moment he reached for her left hand again and did something what surprised not only her but also him. Their boss, McGee and Abby as well. He kissed her ring finger first then her palm. Ziva wasn't a person who was crying a lot in her entire life but that made her blink back tears again. She didn't deserve that all after two years of absence. She didn't deserve him.

"You wear them." he said looking at her engagement ring and wedding band.

"Yes, I do. Every day since I left DC. I did not take them off even once."

Tony didn't need anything else. He let her go but only for a moment to get his wallet. He took his own wedding band out of it and placed it on his ring finger.

"No more hiding, okay? I'm proud to call you my wife and I want to be able to do it all the time, to show people that you agreed to spend the rest of your life with me."

"I am more than okay with that." she said wishing that she could kiss him right now but she wasn't sure if it would be appropriate in front of everyone in the office, especially knowing Gibbs's rule 12 they broke a long time ago. But Tony didn't seem to think too much. He lifted her chin up and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It was when they couldn't stop. Her arms went around his neck and he left his hands on her waist. They both have been waiting for this for so long. For over two years apart. Breaking the kiss he placed his hands a bit lower and lifted her up trying to convince himself that it was all real. That she was standing here in front of him in the bullpen, in his arms, alive, breathing, her heart beating.

Although, they were in their own world that time, Ziva was always on alert and heard someone standing behind her husband so she looked in that direction and saw Abby smiling widely but trying to blink back her tears at the same time.

"Oh my God, you're married! Did you hear that, Timmy? I'm so gonna cry! And Ziva, you're back! I can't believe it's happening right now! Permission to hug?"

Brunette nodded stepping out of Tony's embrace for a moment and wanted to give the Goth a proper greeting but the scientist was faster. She reached for her left hand and squealed loudly admiring the jewellery.

"They're so beautiful! I can't believe you didn't tell us anything!" she said finally squeezing younger friend in her arms.

"I missed you so much, Abby." Ziva chuckled wrapping her arms around the Goth.

Israeli looked unsure at her former boss and smiled kindly. Since she came to the United States and especially since her father's death Gibbs was the one who tried to replace her dad and now she betrayed him by breaking one of the most important rules, by not telling him about them, about her and Tony.

"Ziver." He sighed. He wasn't sure what to tell her after these two years when they didn't see each other. When she left he was agitated. He felt like he lost her forever, like he would never see her again, like she would stay in her homeland for good. Like he lost his _daughter_ again. Daughter not by blood but by love. By choice.

"Gibbs."

She felt Tony lacing their fingers together once again trying to show her that he didn't care about his boss opinion. He would resign if he needed to. Even though he loved this job more than any previous one, he was willing to give it up for her. His wife was the most important person at that moment. Always.

"It's good to have you back, kiddo."

Before she thought what she was doing she hugged the silver-haired man. It seemed like he wanted that as much as she did and embraced her tightly as well.

"We should have told you, I am sorry."

"I'm not mad." he sighed kissing her temple. "But yes, you should have. I might have suspected that but I probably wouldn't have stopped you both after I would be convinced it didn't affect your work together as partners."

"It never did for so many years."

"Yeah, I noticed." he laughed and then looked her in the eyes. "I'm glad you decided to come back to him. He's started to be way more annoying since you left."

"Wait, how many years?" McGee asked being left out of the loop. He was so schocked that he didn't even think about a proper welcome. "I mean you two were working here every day with us. How didn't we notice that?"

"Timmy, they were undercover more times than most of the agents here. I think your second question doesn't need an answer." Abby smiled placing her hand on his arm.

"Married six years ago, McGee." Ziva said gazing at her left hand.

"Quite a long time, guys."

"We know, probie. Trust me, we do." Tony went quiet for a few seconds, grabbed his backpack that was next to his desk and reached for Ziva's hand. "Now, if you excuse us, I want to take my wife home."

"Of course you do, DiNozzo." Gibbs head slapped his senior field agent appearing behind him while no one noticed. "Don't be late tomorrow. Both of you."

"What?" Ziva asked not sure if she heard properly. Did he just gave her, her old job back? Because she could swear so.

"I want to see you two here at seven am tomorrow. Welcome home, agent DiNozzo."


End file.
